CHRISTMAS WITH GLORIA

Since Gloria had moved herself into her new forever home just over a year ago, Mark had only visited his mother twice. His first visit was uneventful, consisting of an awkward hospital-style lunch across a cold gray table. slower now than she had ever been, Gloria picked at her gray meat and unsalted vegetables as they talked about nothing at all. His second visit was more of the same. Gloria, a good mother who had been full of life and love, seemed to be slowly fading away from him. In her place, Gloria had left a wrinkled old prune who barely knew where she was or why. Every visit he made to see her, she somehow looked 10 years older. After what had happened to them, The whole family seemed to age Gloria’s 10 extra years with her. 

Signing the visitor sheet at the front desk, Mark expected this visit to be just like all the others. Difficult, painful, drawn out and soul-crushing. Merry fucking Christmas to me, Mark thought to himself as he worked his way towards the visitor center. The best part of these little visits was the brief light in his mother's eyes when they first reunited. The little spark, that served as the only proof his mother was still in there somewhere. After Finally making his way to the right room, he was greeted with his mother's smile and a warm hug. An honest, unguarded hug, that almost made it worth the trip by itself.

“Merry Christmas Mark,” Gloria told him as they took their seats. “Merry Christmas, Mom”  Mark finished with a smile. In place of their standard Meals on Wheels gruel, they sat in front of two plastic trays of Christmas dinner. A few slices of turkey, some stuffing and gravy, and finally a small lagoon of creamed corn filled each of the neat indented sections. “How are Kat And the boys? staying in school?” Gloria asked before helping herself to a bite of turkey. “Everyone is happy and healthy ma” Mark answered, choosing not to mention the fact that Tyler had been expelled just a few days ago. Her mouth full of turkey, Gloria nodded slowly in satisfaction. “Good, good,” Gloria croaked before continuing. Once her turkey had disappeared, she asked the question Mark was dreading most of all. 

“You plan on letting me see my babies for Christmas?” Gloria asked hopefully, as Mark tried not to cringe back in his chair. “Well…” Mark explained weakly, only vaguely knowing where his sentence would end. “We can have a family Christmas right here,” Gloria interjected. “just like we used to! I can make dinner of course, but if you wouldn't mind bringing something…” Gloria finished her pitch, briefly leaving Mark speechless. “I don't think that could work…” Mark told her weakly. Gloria looked hurt and shocked. “Why Not? I know it's not as fancy as..”

“It's not about that” Mark snapped sharply, sounding meaner than he had meant to. He sighed deeply, searching for the words to explain it all over again. “Do you know why you're here?” Mark asked her calmly. Again, Gloria looked confused and shocked. “Of course I do! After my accident a few years ago, we started looking at pamphlets together.” Gloria answered confidently. It was Mark's turn to look shocked and confused. “And… after that?” Mark asked honestly. “What happened next?” She wouldn't let it show, but her confidence was already starting to crack. “Well…” Gloria continued, sounding nervous and uncertain for the first time. “You kept telling me how happy and carefree I would be in a home, and I kept telling you to fuck off.” Mark chuckled a little at that one, it felt good to laugh even that small amount. “You always were stubborn, and in the end, I agreed it was for the best. Before you could pick a home for me, I picked one myself. And here we are” She finished with a flourish of her hands. 

Having faltered for only a moment, Gloria once again felt confident. Mark, still had that haunted look on his face that made Gloria’s skin crawl “I like your version better,” Mark told her honestly. “Everyone loves a happy ending” he added distantly as he sampled the turkey. Gloria, starting to remember what had happened, was still in denial. All she knew for sure, was that she had done something horrible. She wanted to ask him more, but she was afraid. Instead, after a strange accustomed silence, she asked Mark “Are the kids OK?” in a small scared voice he barely recognized. Mark smiled his pain-filled smile, and told her the truth.

“Justin is better than ever. Managed to snag a 98% on his last math test. Dont know where the hell the kid gets it…” Mark finished with a poor attempt to chuckle. “I only see him on weekends now, but he seems to have moved on the best he can. As for Kat, well…” Mark paused, frozen in remembrance. 

“We don't talk anymore unless she is picking Justin up or dropping him off. The divorce won't be final until the new year, but…” Mark couldn't finish. He didn't have to.

Gloria, now softly weeping into her gravy, knew what she had to ask next. As much as she dreaded hearing the truth, the only thing worse was not knowing. Gathering her final bit of strength, she asked the question she had dreaded most. 

“What happened to Jackson?” She asked, attempting to dry her tears on her long white sleeve. Mark sighed, long and deep, before explaining what had happened all over again. How at the same microsecond, she had lost her grandson, her license, and her freedom all at once. How they had run from the house screaming, both parents too late to do anything but hold their son for the last time. After Mark had told her the whole story, Her slow and steady stream of tears had burst into long gasping sobs of agony. 

The 4 guards placed in the corners of the room, hovered their hands over their tasers in anticipation. Helplessly watching his mother struggle with the white-hot agony of remembering, Mark came to a strange realization. Exploding with emotions he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, filled Gloria’s features with youth. As if grief itself had filled her sunken eye sockets and deflated cheekbones with new life he hadn't seen since he was a kid. As Gloria's eyes burned with light behind a salty wall of tears, She was beautiful again.

Mark had already done his crying for Jackson. But for the first time since his son passed away, he started to cry for his mother instead.